hooped

Best number plate ever

2009-04-15T16:03:00.001+01:00

Genius!

Today was a good day

2009-03-30T22:56:00.002+01:00

I’ll be on honest, the day began as a Monday which is never a good start but certainly went uphill from there. Sitting in the office around 9.30 I realised I quite fancied a game of football tonight and lo and behold I get a text 2 minutes later inviting me to play in one. I brought my coupon into the bookies at lunch and hasn’t a 50p bet on Finland (sorry Wales!) and Serbia only gone and won me 6 glorious pounds.

Just when I thought the day couldn’t get any better, free sandwiches were given out (disclaimer: the sandwiches were not bought with TARP funds) while I made my afternoon coffee. Today was a good day.

I rattled a few in the top corners during football for good measure!

Nearly a good joke!

2009-03-04T11:20:00.001Z

A Meathman, a Glasgow woman and a liverpool taxi driver are on their way to Anfield. No one has a clue what the others are saying!

Why is dublin airport a shambles...

2009-02-16T11:25:00.000Z

...because they wasted all their money buying segways for the police. If you were going to attempt an attack on the infidels via the airport I don't think a security guard doing his best johnny 5 impression would be much of a deterrent.

Don't tell me the score...

2009-02-12T01:00:00.001Z

I was all set for a night in to watch the Republic of Ireland vs. Georgia. Beers in the fridge? Check! lots of food in the house? Check! No big storyline unfolding in Corrie that may cause me to be overruled as to what gets watched on the tell? Check! It was all looking so good but then got roped into working late. No worries I yell, I'll sky plus it. sweet. Just need to dodge any form of new media until I get home. No looking at text messages for the lads and no listening to the radio on the train home. Ipod on, nose in a book and soon I'm home for about 10pm but none the wiser of the score.

Phone rings as soon as I'm in the door. It's my mum.

"Well, are you chuffed Ireland won?"

Outside noises

2009-02-08T19:45:00.001Z

The heavy snow means there's no traffic about so the only thing you can hear outside is the shouting and screaming of the neighbours as the pelt each other with snowballs. Either that or the Snow Zombies are back.. DAMN YOU SNOW ZOMBIES....DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!

School's Cancelled

2009-02-02T22:48:00.001Z

I remember when school would get cancelled coz of the snow. Something to do with the pipes for the heating freezing. The school janitor must've been on a retainer from the heating engineers because it would happen every year without fail: Temp. drops below freezing, pipes freeze, school cancelled, Ultimate snowball death match ensues until eventually all the good snow is used up, we're throwing brown sludge at each other and then the smallest kid who always cries get's hit in the eye / face / head by a particularly stone shaped bit of snow and runs home to tell. Good times!

Football's coming home

2009-01-30T10:28:00.001Z

Uefa cup 2011 will be held in Dublin at Landsdowne road. Not bad for a country with a piss poor domestic league!

Anfield here we come...

2009-01-28T23:54:00.001Z

Tickets have arrived for Liverpool game (including hospitality) in March. Hopefully the 'pool will still be in with a shout of winning the league by then! Our black curly wigs and dodgy moustaches are on order so we can seamlessly blend in with the locals.

Last Home Game of the Season

2008-05-12T01:16:00.002+01:00

Celtic 2 Hibs 0. Great open game of football and a fitting finale for the last home game of the season. Fingers crossed that Rangers drop some points in their next three league games. I get the feeling Artur Boruc is away, his waving to the fans gave the impression of someone saying their goodbyes.

I can't believe they're in the final

2008-05-01T23:52:00.001+01:00

Yes I am genetically encoded to despise them but even taking that into account how seriously sh1t are Rangers. Yes , Yes, I'm a Celtic fan so of course I'll think they're sh1t but both Messi and Mutu have come out in recent times and complained about Rangers' anti-football and they're nearly as good at football as me so their opinions must be valid.

Tactics consist of long ball up in the hope that some combination of Darcheville, Cousins or McCulloch can physically assault a defender in the air while the rest of the team flood forward over the broken bodies and try and score. Then its "QUICK!! Everyone back to our own half before we're seen!" followed by another 20 minutes of last ditch defending. I swear I saw the Rangers midfield give the ball away on purpose in tonight's semi-final coz they didn't know what to do when they had the ball. Ally hasn't bothered reading the other half of the Coaching for Dummies book yet so they're just focusing on the defending for the moment. "Come on Lads, we'll beat them with a NIL all draw." If it was possible to score -1 in a game Rangers would do it they're that negative.

Rangers vs. Zenit St. Petersburg. There's a final everyone will be rushing to see.

Old Firm Game

2008-04-30T00:09:00.002+01:00

Final Old Firm game of the season was a belter, not least because the Celtic won. Hard to enjoy it though for 2 reasons.

1. It was a win or bust
2. There was a really old (granny age) woman sitting beside me so my usual torrent of expletives had to be reigned in.

Turns out the old dear was Celtic daft anyway and even had to be told to sit down at one point as she was blocking the people behind her's view when she get kept standing up excitedly. I grabbed her (and anyone else within reaching distance) when the penalty was scored for Celtic to win 3-2, I just hope I didn't knock out her hip or dislocate anything because she was that kind of fragile old looking!!

Photos from Celtic vs. Barcelona

2008-02-26T00:33:00.001Z

Country Living Episode 2 - The Commute

2007-12-14T13:43:00.002Z

Where the f*ck are all the street lights? Its obviously quieter in the mornings (read deathly silent) but at the same time its pitch black when I get up. My morning waking up routine involves standing in the garden and embarassing the dog by shining a high powered torch at him while he takes a crap in the spotlight.
After that its a dash indoors, hot shower (for me not the dog) if I've time and then we leg it for the train.
My fellow commuters are an interesting bunch if somewhat on death's door judging by the coughing, spluttering and wheezing that echoes through the carriage. The worst so far has been the pair of students insisting they needed to snog the face off each other so they could convey to the rest of the train how very much in love they were. Had I had time to eat a breakfast I would have convey'd it all over them. Note to self, drink more coffee in the mornings to help relieve feelings of hostility towards fellow commuters.

Country Living Episode 2 - The Commute

2007-12-14T13:43:00.001Z

Country Living Episode 1

2007-12-06T09:13:00.001Z

A week ago we were living in a flat in the city centre laughing off any noises outside as some drunk stumbling home and sleeping soundly despite the constant police sirens and neds with their car stereos blasting.
Now its so ridiculously quiet at night so any noises outside are causing us to cack ourselves and pray its not some country weirdo come to harass us. Our dog, Rocky, has never been happier. He's now got a massive garden to race about in and can pee outside without the threat of a steaming hen party to harass him. That's luxury right there!
I'm yet to experience the country community spirit I've heard so much about I've been waiting for a neighbour to drop in a casserrole and say hello since we got here but so far casserrole watch has yet to see any results.

Celtic 1 Benfica 0

2007-11-07T13:05:00.001Z

Celticfc.net Match report
BBC Match report
Guardian Match report

Check out all the extra security (orange jackets) to prevent another 'Dida' incident.

Celtic warming up before the game

Some in game action

A lucky bad mistake...

2007-10-07T21:34:00.000+01:00

...that turned out ok in the end. Today had a full day of premiership games along with the Gretna vs. Celtic game. Before heading to play football myself I chucked a quid on a random line in the local Coral bookmakers. I'd put a few outside bets on (Bolton to beat Chelsea) but it was mostly just the favourites in the hope that the cumaltive odds would give me a little money back if I won. After pulling back a 2 Nil deficit in our own game to win 4-2 I listened intently to the radio for the latest scores at half past three. The news filtered through that Gretna had defied the odds and taken the lead. Horror turned to embarassment however when I pulled out my coupon and realised I'd ticked the box for Gretna to win instead of Celtic!! Multiplied in with my other picks my £1 bet was now looking at a possible return of £2000 if it came in. Unfortunately the rest of the lads in the car saw the coupon and instantly blamed me for the current score. Celtic managed to pull it out of the bag in dying moments of the second half but I guess had they lost, two grand would have almost made up for the loss......almost.

The Syndicate

2007-09-20T15:05:00.000+01:00

The gambling powerhouse that is our syndicate isn't posting very strong figures for its first week of operation...

Accounts after Week 1

Incomings:
Joining fees: £60

Outgoings:
Wednesday 19th: £7 (potential win of £185)
Thursday 20th: £5 (potential win TBD)
----------------------------
Total in Kitty: £48
============================

Thursday night is UEFA CUP night

2007-09-20T14:59:00.000+01:00

Our bet was bust last night by Fenerbahce winning. To be honest that was a bad pick by us and we should have remembered that Inter Milan would be understrength after the suspensions that were still in effect from last year.

Tonights picks (avoiding Aberdeen because of close emotional ties!!)

Spartak to WIN
Blackburn to WIN
Leverkusen to WIN
Bayern Munich to WIN
Atletico Madrid to WIN
Villareal to WIN
Everton to WIN

The bet is a £5 accumulator.

Away win for Blackburn should bring the odds up nicely.

Odds On Favourites

2007-09-19T20:24:00.000+01:00

Todays sees the start of our hugely expensive (20 BIG ONES to buy in) betting syndicate. After much deliberation our 2 bets for tonight were:

Bet #1

Arsenal to win at home against Sevilla
Barca to give Lyon a pasting at home
Inter to win at Fenerbahce
PSV to win at home against CSKA moscow
Roma to lay the smack down against Dynamo Kiev in Romw
Slavia prague to give Steaua Bucharest a beating in Prague
And Man U to rob a victory in Lisbon against Sporting Lisbon.

Odds at approx 31/1 for the accumlative bet.

Bet #2

Wins for Inter, Man U and Roma in Fenerbahce, Lisbon and Rome respectively.

Odds at approx 4/1

Tuesday is Champions League night

2007-09-18T13:00:00.001+01:00

Telegraphs guide to the groups (Telegraph)

Mourinho talks about eggs (The Mail)

Torres to make his champions debut (Telegraph)

Secret to winning the champions league (The Independent)

Kenny miller pretends he's good at Derby (Guardian)

Porto talk a good game (The Sun)

Rooney reckons he's ready (The Sun)

Younger then I look

2007-09-07T00:39:00.001+01:00

I am a day younger than I actually am. This is an awesome fact and one that exists because the nurse who helped delivery me on that very important day got her days mixed up and put in the previous days date on the birth cert. Maybe there was a reason for this, maybe she just wasn't very bright ( and yes I know a nurse could be a him but come on we're talking about Ireland in the 70s here folks !!). Either way the result is my birth cert and when my mum says I was born are conflicting dates and my mum went through enough for me to give her the benefit of the doubt and her recollection is my official birthday.
I've been trying to figure out if there's some way I could turn this bit of info to some kind of use. Suggestions welcome but right now my best is that in 80 years or so from now I'll beat some guy by one day to being oldest man alive and as he dies (the day before I go) after missing out on the newspaper coverage and medals and large parades I have been so lucky to receive I explain on his death bed that it was all a big mistake and he's actually older than me. I'm sure he'll take the joke in the spirit it was intended

Missed a sitter...

2007-09-04T19:11:00.000+01:00

I go on hols for 7 days and miss one amazing Champs League game and another excellent SPL performance by the hoops!! Still, the time off from work was much needed and I managed to get a couple of rounds of golf in.

So to switch themes for a bit here's a couple of golfing vids from dugout from youtube:

Tiger woods ad 1
balls in the balls is always funny
Murder of on the teebox
An awesome gorilla

Fulltime. Celtic vs. Hearts

2007-08-25T17:26:00.001+01:00

What a game. Celtic win 5 nil. Midfield were amazing with Brown getting himself a goal and naka with some slick footwork to win a penalty that hesselink slotted home with ease. Naka got his name on the scoresheet too when he finished off a great move that was started by Brown hustling in the hearts half and stealing the ball. Fingers crossed for a similar performance on wednesday.

Halftime against hearts

2007-08-25T15:54:00.001+01:00

Its halftime at the celtic vs. Hearts game and thanks to berra's face and some sublime skill from donati we're ahead two nil and very much on top of things. Hearts aren't troubling the hoops defence and mcmanus and caldwell are looking a cohesive unit. Standout so far has been massimo though with mcdonald also looking impressive up front.

1 game, 1 point, 0 excitement

2007-08-09T00:26:00.001+01:00

Last sunday was the first game of the season and Celtic were at home to Kilmarnock. Despite it being my debut league game in my brand spanking NEW season ticketed seat things didn't bode well before I even got to Parkhead. Getting p1ssed on in a downpour on the way to the stadium pretty much set the tone for the afternoon.
I was hoping for an awe-inspiring goalfest to lift the mood but I was, along with the rest of the Celtic faithful, severely dissappointed. Things weren't as bad as the phone-in-show nutters have subsequenly phoned in to say but it did make for a drab 90 mins of football. Donati, Brown, McGeady and Naka all showed moments to keep supporters spirits up so I'm going to exercise my right to be optmistic and ignore the phone-in madness for now.

Thank you mr. harrington

2007-07-24T12:11:00.000+01:00

My parents have always been into golf so when I was younger I used to get caught up in the excitement of the big tournaments especialy the rider cup. Payne Stewart was one of my favourites because my dad had told me how he used to always wear the colours of an American football team at each competition. His sudden demise in a plane crash was a shock to everyone.

My other favourite golfer has had somewhat better luck. Back in the late nineties I worked as an intern for a life assurance company that also sponsored Padraig Harrington. When he first qualified for the ryder cup team in '99 the company gave everyone free lunch and a glass of champagne. Ever since then i've always get an eye on his scores and put a few quid on him in the majors.

On Sunday Padraig did himself proud beating Sergio Garcia in a playoff to win The Open. More importantly my £20 each way bet on him netted me 540 quid which will go towards our ever growing deposit for a new house.

Thanks Padraig.

VIVA LA COCKROAH

2007-05-11T16:30:00.000+01:00

An excellent childhood football anecdote donated by Chris

"....This reminds me of Primary School when and me and my mates played 5-a-side football, which back then seemed to be every night of the week. We had this routine that became a bit of a running joke. When you scored your first goal of the night you had to choose the most impressive or powerful member of the animal kingdom you could think of, and run back up the pitch shouting 'The Lions scores!!' etc. That kind of thing really tickles a shool boy (probably not these days though). So, that was your chosen animal for the night, and you had to stick with it - shouting 'The Lion scores!!' after every goal you scored that evening. It was amusing waiting to see which animal would be chosen after everyones first goal of the evening.

Being young at the time (and some of us not being the most imaginative), all the good animals ran out fast. If you were the poor guy who was maybe the 8th or 9th to score his first goal of the night there wasn't much left in the animal kingdom to choose from. The Lion, the Tiger, the Shark, the Bear etc. had all gone by that time. 9th and 10th had to take animals that were still great, but they were certainly no Lion or Tiger, and they were never anyones favourite animal. So, although it was only a bit of fun, you still tried hard to bag your first goal of the night as early as possible, so you could lay claim to the name of your favourite animal before someone else did.

I can remember the following like it was yesterday. One evening this guy, who was pretty bad at football and who never ever scored, but played week in week out, miraculously scored the very first goal of the night -- it was a screamer as I recall. Dazzled by the simple fact this clogger had scored, but more amazed by the fact it was the first goal of the night, and a great first goal at that, we waited for what seemed like an eternity before he made his choice. For each of those timestretched milliseconds every last one of us was secretly desperate he wouldn't choose our favourite animal. To our amazement, and soon to our amusement, he wheeled back up the pitch screaming: 'The cockroach scores, the cockroach!! Can no-one stop the cockroach!!!?'. From that evening on the first person to score each night would, without fail, choose the cockroach as their animal. There's probably a moral in there somewhere?"

YAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaas!

2007-05-02T09:47:00.000+01:00

What an excellent week for the football. First off, Celtic finally get their hands on the trophy that they essentially won way back in January. Hopefully that'll give them the motivation to give Rangers a hiding on Saturday for Lenny's last old firm game. Fingers crossed Celtic get a penalty and Lenny steps up to take it!!

Then to top it all off Liverpool knock Chelsea out of the Champions League. Not the greatest of footballing semi-finals but a gripping game to watch and you can't beat the drama of a penalty shootout. Mourinho was his usual sore lose self but that couldn't spoil a great night for liverpool who are now on their way to their 2nd Champions League final in 3 years (possibly against AC Milan again).

Benitez was obviously delighted and hopefully success in the Champions league will lead to a big push for the premiership title next season

Amateurs Footballers Graveyard...

2007-04-11T12:24:00.000+01:00

My amateur footballing career took a slight detour last night as I was forced to do a shift in goals last night. We lost 3-1. Don't think I'll be asked again.

Here's an artist impression of me in action:

One more sleep 'til Paddy's day

2007-03-16T13:39:00.000Z

St. Patrick's day is on the other side of tonights sunset and I'm very much looking forward to it. I came out of last weeks Old Firm game with mixed feelings. Obviously dissappointed that we lost but it was a cool occasion because that was my Dad's first Celtic game and he thoroughly enjoyed himself despite the result.

The amateur team I play for on Saturday mornings has its local derby game tomorrow morning. That will be followed swiftly by a shower and change of clothes and then onwards to the pub for a nice long boozy Saturday. That will be a novelty this year because since I've been living in Scotland St. Patrick's day has been a weekday and we don't get the public holiday that the lucky folk back home are blessed with.

In short, I tend to give it a right good lash although a bit of restraint will be required if I'm to see it through until the late hours.

Wikipedia entry for Paddy's day

Lá Fhéile Pádraig

Lots of sport and cheese and onion crisps.

2007-02-27T08:53:00.000Z

The only dissappointing part of the weekend was the cheese and onion crisps. Some stupid wagon decided she needed to eat her crisps during the flight back from Dublin this weekend and unfortunately myself and my wife were the ones sitting beside her. Reminded me of the smelly kids who used to be on the bus to school.

Anyway on to the positives........Ireland graciously humped England in Croke Park, Liverpool won 4-0, Peter Crouch broke his nose, the Carling Cup final was marginally exciting and Celtic came back from being one-nil down at Inverclyde to put themselves into the Cup semi-finals by winning 2-1 in the last 3 minutes. C'mon the hoops.

Some links: In honour of John Terry here's how to treat a head injury
plus a scouting report of onetime Celtic target Anthony Stokes

The Big One.

2007-02-19T21:56:00.000Z

In anticipation of Tuesday night's big game at Parkhead here's the Youtube clip I put together from the clips I took at the home game against benfica.

Return of the King

2007-01-15T11:45:00.000Z

It couldn't have been more exciting had Pressley parachuted in wearing a white Elvis jumpsuit. Actually that would've been awesome but instead he was wearing the Celtic jersey and the captain's armband on his return to Tynecastle. A mediocre display from Celtic in the first half against a Hearts team running around like maniacs ensured the home team went back to their dressing room a goal to the good at half-time. Mikolaunas hit a wonderstrike from a good 30 yards out to open the scoring with Celtic making very little impression at the other end.

It all changed after the break though with Gravesen sitting deeper and Sno pressing forward orchestrating play. I thought Jarosik put in one of his best performances of the season so far. He hustled, chased and was strong on the ball. Bringing Beattie on for Zurawski caused even more problems for Hearts who were beginning to tire after running themselves into the ground for most of the game. Beattie did well to get onto a through ball into the box and though his shot was weak Gordon couldn't hold onto it and with Hesselink once again in the right place at the right time it was a simple tap-in to draw the hoops level.

Celtic continued to pile on the pressure and the 3 points were secured for the bhoys when Jarosik pushed down the left wing, cut in to the edge of the box and rattled one around Gordon to put Celtic ahead. O'Dea deserves a mention too for some solid defending throughout but Pressley inevitably got man of the match for a no-nonsense performance at the back. Just like his namesake he was Taking Care of Business.

Thank you very much.

Cheering the underdog

2007-01-10T00:52:00.000Z

Last weeks SFA and FA Cup exploits, particularly by Morton, remind me how much I love a good underdog story. I think it all originally stems from watching cheesy disney feel good flicks like Mighty Ducks and Little Giants with my brother when we were kids. You know the type, bunch of loser kids form a team to take on the well trained and well disciplined 'evil' enemy team. There's the usual sub-plots along the way of self-discovery, making true friends etc. but its all just leading up to that final third act where against all odds the good guys win in the end.

The formula is a simple one but its one still used to excellent effect in more grown-up fare like Mean Machine (orig + remake),Rocky (I - V),Major League, The Replacements, Any Given Sunday, Blue Chips and so on. These kind of movies usually get panned by the critics as formulaic crap without understanding that to the male sportsfan these are far more emotional movies than Bridget Jones and her pals could ever be.

The latest addition to the Rocky boxset hits cinemas in the next few weeks. Yes it'll be predictable, yes the premise will be slightly far-fetched and yes the acting won't be great but I guarantee there'll be many a man with a lump in his throat when THAT music kicks in and Rocky begins one of his inevitable training montages. Box Office Gold.

Kicking 'em when they're down

2007-01-08T22:18:00.000Z

Where do you start? The fact that we're 17 points ahead in January? The fact that the new great hope at Ibrox turned out to be worse than the man he replaced (and let's not forget how rubbish Mcleish was)? The undisputed fact that Filip Sebo couldn't hit a donkey's arse with banjo? No, I think I'll start and finish with the fact that the bluenoses' mid-season rebuild program isn't really going to plan. Brown and Thompson would prefer to come to Celtic, Quashie has signed for West Ham and the SFA are playing hardball with a certain Waldo Smith. If I could have given Le Guen 2 million quid to cause this much trouble I would've. Luckily Sir David Murray did it for me.

Last post of the year

2006-12-30T23:11:00.000Z

The last 2 months were full to bursting point with activity because I had the pleasure of getting married on a great day in november and then spending nearly 3 weeks on honeymoon in Dubai and the maldives. My wife and I then arrived back in Glasgow into the middle of frenzied Christmas shopping. This year was a very special Christmas because not only am I now a happily married man but we also spent our first Christmas together in Ireland. We`re back now in Scotland for hogmanay and if 2007 is anything like this year then the next 12 months are going to be belters.

Champion's League Adventures

2006-10-20T00:40:00.000+01:00

Celtic Vs. Benifca

Previous to this my total 'live' champion's league experiences were Celtic vs. Armedia Bratislava last season and Celtic vs. FC Copenhagen a couple of weeks ago. Third time was defnitely a charm. With 4 of the potential starting line-up missing (Gravesen, McGeady, Wilson and Hesselink) I wasn't sure what kind of game we were going to be treated too.

Turns out it was an absolute belter with Celtic romping to a 3-0 win in front of a loud and enthusiastic crowd of fans. The fans kept singing and Celtic kept scoring with Pearson grabbing the 3rd in the last 5 minutes to put Celtic in an excellent position to qualify for the next round. The away game to benfica is crucial though. If we can get anything out of that game then it will put us in the home stretch for qualification!!!

S.O.S

2006-10-10T00:59:00.000+01:00

Sack Our Staunton. Please. Go On! you know you want to. On current form the days of singing olé olé for the Irish team are well and truly over and with the FAI making 'we'll stand by our man' noises the future doesn't look too bright.

Now is the time to sack Staunton and at least give the fans (and possibly the team) some renewed hope of qualifying for the European Championships. After finally realising Kerr just wasn't the man for the job and didn't have the depth of experience they needed, how Staunton was seen as an improvement was beyond me.

Other nations without half the talent the Republic of Ireland squad posses happily recruit foreign managers with almost instant success. Look at Australia and Japan and the USA. At least they're qualifying for the big tournaments. We on the otherhand are going backwards and in terms of the world rankings, downwards.

So please, Sack Staunton and give us at least a fighting chance of qualification!!

3 points on the board

2006-09-27T02:04:00.000+01:00

Got a ticket out of the blue to the Champions League match against FC Copenhagen. My first proper champions league game in Celtic Park or anywhere for that matter. The bhoys did themselves proud with a solid performance not 3 days since beating Rangers in the first Old Firm game if the season.

I've got a ticket for the Benfica game too which will definitely look like being a cracker and an important one for Celtic two. After beating Benfica 1-0 earlier tonight Man U are looking certain to top the group. We've got a nice start with our 3 points so we should be hoping try and secure that second spot as soon as possible. A win against Benifica in Celtic Park will certainly help towards this.

SLAM!! - The Window Shuts

2006-09-01T00:16:00.000+01:00

As the transfer window shuts there's still no word over whether Ashley Cole is a Chelsea player or not. Keano has been fairly mental on the tranfer front bringing in Ross Wallace, Stan Varga, Liam Miller and Dwight York to name but a few. SundIreland is definitely starting to live up to its name.

Transfer Deadline Madness

2006-08-31T09:12:00.000+01:00

As of midnight tonight the transfer windows snaps shut so I'm bracing myself today for some last minute panic buys across the Europe. Will Ashley Cole go to Chelsea? Will Gallas go to Arsenal. The bbc website has a nice roundup of all the potential transfer movements.

Big Tam G in action...

2006-08-31T00:37:00.000+01:00

I think my money is on the big fella!!

Here's a video clip of him playing football.

*Warning* The video conatains clips of Thomas Gravesen with hair that some young viewers may find disturbing.

Gravesen's gonna eat ya...

2006-08-31T00:13:00.000+01:00

Thomas Gravesen. THOMAS EFFING GRAVESEN. What a fantastic signing. Yes, we've lost Stillian Petrov to Martin O'Neill's big fat wallet but what an excellent replacement. Tommy G would still have been in Real Madrid's starting line-up if he hadn't tried to take Robinho's head off wih a punch in training (the little sh1t deserved it I reckon). Mr Lawlell (I can never spell his name) has certainly done the business with the transfers this summer. I salute you sir.

In other news Rangers have signed a load of auld rubbish from Austria Vienna. Aw bless.

Cycling to edinburgh, Nuts 5-aside and new Celtic Signings....

2006-08-28T16:39:00.000+01:00

I'm putting my lack of posting down to wedding preparations kicking into overdrive. Its still well over 2 months away but as weddings go that's really not that far away. Over the last month I've managed to cycle the length of the canal from Glasgow to Edinburgh (64 LONG miles), get to the quarter finals of the Nuts Magazine Glasgow 5-a-side tourney, join a new 11-side team, witness an unfortunate member of aforementioned 11-a-side break his leg during a game and more recently watch Celtic's latest signing Jan Venegoor of Hesselink ( that's a guess at the spelling) open his SPL account with a match winning goal against hibs on Saturday. Put in a lot of wedding plans around all that and my blogging has severely fallen to the wayside.

The next few months though my extra-curricular activities will be limited to sports and fitness so I'm nice and buff for sitting around looking cool on my honeymoon so I'll try and make an effort on the blog front.

I got decent tickets in the Lisbon Lions stand for the game and saturday and was well impressed with Naylor's debut at left back. JVOH stole the show with his winner though and the crowd really made him feel welcome. If the Gravesen signs then we really should be getting excited about the Champions League this year. Its not an easy group by a long shot with Manchester United , Benfica and FC Copenhagen all presenting difficult games but its definitely going to liven up Wednesday and Tuesday nights for the next few weeks.

Its the Little Things....

2006-08-10T14:57:00.000+01:00

I'd been meaning to write a post about how, despite other things constantly going against you, its the little victories you gotta look forward too. The post was inspired by the fact that it turns out my employer had been working my tax out wrong and once I got it fixed I was due a very healthy rebate. This was excellent news for 2 reasons

I get some money I didn't know I was due
I don't owe the inland revenue money

So hurray a little victory for the little guy. However my good news was quickly and somewhat ruthlessly offset by the fact that some wee b@stard burnt out our car last night in Glasgow city centre. Whereas before I was excitedly waiting for the post in the morning in the hope of my rebate cheque morning, now, unfortunately, my excitment has been replaced by constant worry because I'll have to wait and see if our insurance will cover us and pay us out a decent amount.

I'd like to be more optimistic and be sure that the insurance claim would go through but experience has now taught me not to count it as a little victory until the claim checque is in my hand!!!

Humped....

2006-07-31T14:25:00.000+01:00

Asked in the pub on friday what I thought the outcome of Saturday's game against Kilmarnock would be, I confidently if somewhat slurred answered that 'We'd hump 'em!!'. My detailed and insightful prediction proved to be incredibly accurate as Celtic cruised to their first win of the season. I can't comment too much on the match itself having done the honourable thing and tended to my wedding preparations rather than watching the match.

I'm looking forward to catching the highlights on the 'New and Improved' Scotsport SPL tonight after Sarah O (o is for ohmigodIamuglyandtalentless) and Julian were apparently the victims of mercy killings over the summer by people who like watching football highlight shows that are presented by people who actually know a thing or two about football. It'll be interesting to see what the format is like and whether they've still got the audience sitting on garden furniture

Preseason over...thankfully

2006-07-27T17:20:00.000+01:00

Getting our asses handed to us by a bunch of Manchester United reserves had very little in the way of a silver lining other than Liam Miller missing a sitter for United. I'm willing to keep faith with the management though and not read too much into our abysmal preseason performances.

I don't know what was worse though, Celtic's level of play or the patronising Channel 5 commentary. Actually I do know what was worse than both of those....John "eh" Barnes' incoherent mumblings that channel 5 have tried to pass as insightful punditry. That guy is dangerous enough with a microphone when he's sitting still, who thought it would be a good idea to give him a free role and let him surprise attack Ferguson and Strachan in the tunnel.

Home to Kilmarnock on Saturday. Kick Off at 12.30.

Blog Block

2006-07-24T13:53:00.000+01:00

The summer so far has been fairly lacking in blog postings. This has been caused by a number of things (not in order of importance): the football season ending, wedding plans kicking into overdrive, being fairly busy in work.

So with the football season beginning again and as the wedding plans start to become reality its time to dust off the keyboard and get some posts flowing again although they may not quite as interesting as Jonny's trip to Chernobyl!!! (he's subsequently grown long hair and an extra ear).

To kick off I've a short to-do list of things I'd like to-do before the end of the year so rather than having them tucked away on a page in my notebook I thought I'd put 'em here to further remind me what I should be to-do'ing.

Get Married
Decorate the Flat
Write a (short) book
do a non-work orientated training course
Write a script

Not the longest of lists but not very specific taskwise (except of course #1) which gives me a bit of flexibility in getting it complete before year end.

New Illness...

2006-07-11T14:27:00.000+01:00

I think I'm suffering from acute WCWS (World Cup Withdrawal Syndrome). I rushed home from work yesterday evening coz somewhere in my subconcious a little voice was telling me that I'd have a good night relaxing in front of some world cup footie on the telly. Curse you Subconcious!!!! Not only was there obviously no football but the tellybox had been invaded by reality TV from all sides.

Channel 4 had big brother, STV had Celebrity Love Island and the BBC had Only Fools on horses (seriously...what the f*ck is that show all about). The hours before all this reality torture was nearly worse with double bills of all our 'favourite' soaps. The poor viewers who missed the latest deaths/adulteries/depressing revelation in Albert Square, the Rovers Returns or some field in Emmerdale could now reset their body clock to receive its daily fix of inane drivel. Thank god Film Four is becoming available on freeview so I can fill the empty void.

Either that or I could always get a hobby!!

The End is nigh...

2006-07-04T13:57:00.000+01:00

The end of the Yellow/Red card fest that was the World Cup that is. 4 games remaining but thats hopefully enough games for the tournament to redeem itself. I'm chuffed with getting all four winners of the semi-finals correct (should've put money on it though) and has left us with two very tasty match-ups with Germany vs. Italy tonight and France vs. Portugal tomorrow. Both have the potential to be absolute crackers so fingers crossed the fans get to watch the kind of football Brazil promised but never delivered.

Meanwhile onboard Engerland's easyjet flight home Crouch , Sven and ex-captain Beckham all give their 2 cents regarding England's failure.

I wonder how long the WAGs (that's Wives and Girlfriends for the uninitiated) remain linked to their not so successful other halves.

New Celtic Signings

2006-06-21T17:19:00.000+01:00

In a whirlwind of transfer activity Celtic have added Jarosik and Evander Sno to the team roster. Good to see new faces coming in and it looks as if any dabbling in the market place that celtic have done has been carefully though out. Jarosik is a big hard lad who fill fit in nicely in the SPL . Admittedly I had never heard of Sno until they signed him but apparently Celtic we're watching him constantly for over six months so he could turn out to be a very shrewd investment.

Strachan has hinted at the possibility of a couple more new faces and with Naka signing an extension too the squad is starting to look very strong.

Felix Bito in the house

2006-06-21T17:06:00.000+01:00

Very much enjoying the world cup so far. Despite not making much of a showing in the office Fantasy Football league, I've been pretty glued to the TV since it started. England are providing to be great entertainment as they struggle to understand what we all know already: They're just not very good. Brazil, Argentina, Portugal, Spain and Germany are all looking like they can do something in the tournament so excitement is definitely building for the knockout stages.

To get you in the footballing mood before the Argentina vs. Holland game tonight click here to see what you're Brazillian football name might be

Out in the first round

2006-06-13T23:59:00.000+01:00

Too much work has caused me to neglect the blogging over the last two weeks. Note to self: must do better.

The Weekend for the National Fives in Galway was a cracker. Going out in the first round meant the weekend was free for drinking with reckless abandon. Here's the photo's from the Salthill Devon (hosts of the tournament) website.

In the meantime the world cup has begun and my money's on Argentina. Actually my money's not on it yet but I do plan to stick a bet on them.

Field of Dreams

2006-05-31T17:12:00.000+01:00

The world's biggest footballing tournament is almost upon us. No, not the world cup but the Carlsberg National Fives competition held every year in Salthill Co. Galway. We're bringing a team over from Glasgow this year to partake in the football/drinking/general mayhem. There's over 130 teams entered this year and the organisers have opted for a purely knockout competition so we've got to try and win a few games and not do all that travelling for only 15minutes of football. Really looking forward to it (despite the 3 hour bus trip from Dublin) and Galway is always a good spot to enjoy a few alcoholic beverages.

I'll try and keep the blog updated with our progress.

Women's 10K

2006-05-22T09:40:00.000+01:00

The Glasgow Women's 10K took place on Sunday and I, like nearly every bloke in Glasgow, was there to proudly cheer on my better half as she crossed the finish line. It was an amazing turnout with over 15,000 ladies taking part in the event. It was a very well organised event and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. It was quite touching to watch a few husbands/fathers get a bit teary as their loved ones crossed the finish line. Spurred me to think about entering a few of the events that are happening during the summer especially now the football season is over.

Last game of the season

2006-05-22T09:20:00.000+01:00

After a rather unsuccessful season (W-0 D-4 L-16) in the Strathclyde Evangelical Churches Football League it all ends on Tuesday night with our last game of the season. Despite our very consistent losing streak, I've really enjoyed playing 11s this year so I'm hoping the team continues after the summer or that I can get a game with a team a bit closer to glasgow.

Here's hoping we can end the season with our first win on Tuesday night.

Some world cup news

2006-05-16T00:28:00.000+01:00

Eriksson names his squad.

Alex has a the brazillian squad list.

Morientes dropped from the spanish squad

Totti (injured) makes the italian squad.

Winding down before it all kicks off

2006-05-16T00:21:00.000+01:00

The Champions league final has a lot to live up to after last years magnificent come back by Liverpool and 2 cracking cup finals on Saturday. Liverpool are getting a reputation as the comeback Kings and its all down to the main man Stevie G. Yes, Liverpool were lucky to win and yes, West Ham were the best team overall but you cannot deny Mr. Gerard and his mates their glorious victory and declare it anything other than a magnificent game. 3 dodgy goals from West Ham, 3 belters from Liverpool, a shocking 90 mins from Reina but redeems himself in the extra time and penalties, the players looking like walking wounded as they hobbled up to collect their prize. Its games like that that make me want to run outside and kick a football and its games like that that mean I'll still be enjoying myself when I'm up to my knees in mud, playing god knows where in the West of Scotland and (on current form) losing by a handful of goals. Roll on the world cup.

SFSFSFBBB

2006-05-07T22:58:00.000+01:00

The title may look like a random collection of letters but it is in fact the acronym for a very useful phrase: shitfuckshitfuckshitfuckbolloxbolloxBOLLOX!!!. This is the very phrase I used as I woke up late last night lying on my sofa with an upturned bottle of Corona in my lap. A quick smell check confirmed that the puddle I was sitting in was indeed beer and not the result of a sudden attack of incontinence. The shout of expletives was because our nice and still relatively new sofa was looking a bit soggy and not smelling the freshest. A combination of football early on Saturday morning, a coupe hours of work and a poker gathering meant that I was shattered by Saturday night and promptly conked out with bottle of beer in hand as soon as I sat down.

On the brightside, it's probably a good thing I don't smoke.

A Realisation: I'm getting old

2006-05-01T11:29:00.000+01:00

My 11 a-side footballing adventures brought a rather unwelcome realisation on Saturday. In an effort to help shore up a rather leaky defence I volunteered to fill in the left back spot rather than play in my usual left wing role. I suddenly realised this was a definite indication of my increasing age. No longer could I consider myself a pacey young athlete tearing up the wing against older opposition. No, now I was an experienced old-codger putting in a shift at the back. I was actually pretty happy with how I played in left back considering its not a position I've played in too often and considering it was the best team performance we've put in in a while I think I'll be happy playing there for the rest of the season.

The money's always greener on the other side.

2006-04-28T13:29:00.000+01:00

The back of the Sun today talks about the SPL's new broadcast rights deal with Setanta which will net the league 13.5 million a year until 2010. Good news for clubs in the SPL particularly the smaller/newly promoted ones who will get a £500,000 each just for turning up to work the start of the 2006/2007. The rest of the money will then be payed out depending league position at the end of the season. So well done the spl for negotiating the £54.5 million deal for the next 4 years.

Contrast that however with the premiership where the TV rights packages from 2007 onwards are being bid for by a number of TV channels (including of course BSkyB). The last deal which BSkyB owned exclusively was for 4 years at a whopping £1.024bn. With the rights now split into Six seperate packages the Premier can only expect that price to rise. As happy as St. Mirren will be with their half a million pound welcome hamper when they arrive in the SPL, its peanuts in comparison with £20 million the promoted Championships teams will receive when they turn up in their sunday finest in the new season.

At the other end of the scale, I'll be playing 11s this weekend in East Kilbride and it will cost me a fiver.

Football Update

2006-04-26T09:27:00.000+01:00

With Villareal supporters now quieter than a Scientologist giving birth Arsenal get a place in the Champions League final against the winner of tonights match between A.C. Milan and Ronaldinho. Celtic's Champions League adventure next season has a vested interest who wins this years Champions League. If the winner doesn't qualify automatically by their league placing (i.e. Arsenal) then they'll nick Celtic's automatic qualification for the group stage and force the bhoys to have to pre-qualify (BOOOO! HISSS!!!). So here's to the big toothed, pony tail wearing, samba dancing brazilian having a belter of a game tonight and then Barcelona cruising past Arsenal in the final.

With Liverpool unceremoniously dumping José and his 93 man squad out of the FA Cup the scousers are now favourites to lift the silver drinking device in Cardiff on May 13th. They'll be up against a spirited West Ham side though and we'll get a sneaky peek of the final as both teams meet tonight in a premiership fixture. C'mon the Reds.

Sunday was my first Old Firm derby in Parkhead and it was a bit of a non-event unfortunately. Celtic never really got out of second gear and bar a few scares early in the second half never looked uncomfortable as they strolled the 0-0 draw. Despite the papers and meeja trying to hype things up there wasn't any sectarian shouting/singing that I heard and things seem to pass by amicably enough. Overall, a rather subdued affair.

Talk of Petrov leaving in the summer continues

Petrov on the move

2006-04-21T08:46:00.000+01:00

Back page of the sun this morning reports that Petrov has handed in a transfer request and looks set to leave in the Summer with Newcastle (possibly managed by Marin O'Neill) his intended destination. The bbc's website has quotes from Celtic saying 'they would reject any such transfer requests and hey he just signed a new contract so just back off right!!!' or words to that effect. Celtic's website carries the official club statement.

Sometimes I think the football pages go for a machine gun approach to sniffing out big transfer scoops: If they fire enough of them out one is bound to hit the target. At the same time, as the old saying goes there tends to be no smoke without fire and Celtic's VERY quick response time in getting a statement of denial out only adds to my suspicions. The fact that Petrov's face looked like a smacked arse on Sunday despite winning the league just adds more fuel to the fire. Sunday's line up against Rangers will perhaps give an insight into whats going on. I think Keane and Lennon in the middle would be the best setup but will Strachan pander to Petrov and put him back in the centre?

My summer transfer predictions:
Steven Gerrard will be linked with loads of clubs and go nowhere and look pissed off about it.
Ashley Cole is off to Spain.
Thierry Henry will head to Barcelona
Petrov to Newcastle of £4 million
Beckham back to the Premiership to a London based Club.
Van Nistleroy to Italy (Juventus perhaps).
Ronaldo (the fat one) to the premiership (hopefully liverpool)

As I think of more through the weekend I'll stick them up.

Good Friday, Great Saturday, Sunday, Monday

2006-04-18T08:42:00.000+01:00

Tried to get value for money out of the bank holiday weekend and do a bit of relaxing. Went to see Inside Man in the cinema on Friday night. 'Twas a really good film and both myself and my fiancée enjoyed it. Saturday I painted the hallway in the flat. Its not the biggest hallway mind you but I feel I accomplished something that I'd been meaning to do for ages. Went out to an all you can eat chinese on Bath Street (Star Walk) on Saturday night with some friends. That ended up an enjoyable night too with a few drinks and some friendly banter. Sunday was all about the football as hibs came to Celtic Park to try and upset the title celebrations. Their goal in the first half nearly did that but Magic was around to keep things level. Nakamura was a superstar again. Think I'll get myself the Japanese jersey for the world cup. Although maybe not the home (blue) one :)

Monday was meant to be a relaxing day with a nice walk in the park fitted in somewhere. Unfortunately our walk in the park was replaced with walk to the car pound as our car got towed for being parked in a loading bay. We had thought that the Bank holiday monday would have given us a breather on the parking laws but we learned the hard way that it didn't. £135 that we could have done without spending. Still, we finished the long weekend off with a night in watching the Great Escape. Roll on next weekend...

The weekend in review....

2006-04-10T13:12:00.000+01:00

Another good weekend. Haired down the road on friday after work for a wedding reception in Gourock Golf Club. There's a fantastic view over the Clyde from the clubhouse although it was obscured at times by the sideways sleet and rain that was howling about the place. We drank, danced and were merry until the early hours and then bought small carry out and heading up for some more drinking, worse dancing and further merriment in one of our friends flats.

The taxi home brought more excitement as we ran out of cash to pay the taxi man once we got back to my fiancée's parents house. Now let me make this bit clear: the taxi bill was about £6.30 and I had just under £5 in change on me. No big deal. My fiancée would run into the house and grab a couple of coins and we'd be fine. But could grumpy arsed taxi man deal with this? Oh no, the eejit had to spend the 2 minutes while we waited mouthing off about me and my fiancée and throwing out snidey comments like "So did you raid your piggy bank tonight boy!". This guy had some chip on his shoulder and I had made up my mind to let him know what I thought of him. My fiancée returned, I gave the man his money and then got out of the car with my well thought out parting shot of "Cheers here's you money and thanks for being such a pr1ck about it".

Well, I must have found the guys trigger word coz he blew his top and went mental. I turned around to see him storming out of the car and charging across the pavement in my direction with steam literally coming out of his ears. Quick mental arithmetic (How big am I plus how young am I multiplied by how pissed off I am divided by How drunk am I with roughly the same calculation for him) put the odds slightly in my favour so I reckoned squaring up to him was the best course of action. I was proved to be right as he came to a screeching halt in front of me when it looks as though I wasn't going to run away. He thought for a few seconds and then grabbed the front of the jacket but his mental arithmetic hadn't factored in my fiancée coming flying in for an attack on his blind side and pushing him back towards his car.

"but...but he called me a prick?" he stammered angrily

To which we both hurled a torrent of expletives in his direction until he got the message and hopped back into his taxi and f*cked off.

We walked back to the house hand in hand. Victorious but tired.

Middlesbore no more!

2006-04-06T22:12:00.000+01:00

Its not often I'd be heaping praise on Middleborough Football Club but tonight's heroics in their 4-1 (4-3 on aggr) win over Basle were amazing. A belter of a game to watch, Middlesborough were chasing a 2 goal deficit from the first leg. Big performances from Viduka, Rochembach and Downing led the way and it really was a cracker of a game to watch. Goals, big tackles, dubious refereeing decisions, microwaved pasta and meatballs from tesco (mmmm), a great night.

Match reports bbc, guardian,itv

CHAMPIONS

2006-04-06T01:46:00.000+01:00

A great night at Celtic Park. There was something in the air (other then the smell of chips and gravy) as I walked through the East End on the way to the match. Fans of all ages made their way together (some of the little ones wearing their football trainers.....just in case) and there was clearly excitement in the air. Tonight was the night we turn over the #2 team in the league and wrap up the title before the split. And thats just what the bhoys did. The defence deserve a special mention. They've been up and down throughout the season but tonight they showed their mettle. Great performances from Wilson and Boruc and good shifts all round for Blade, McManus and Telfer. The shut out at the back meant big bad john's early first half goal was enough to seal the win and claim the title although the pressure from Hearts late on ensured a nervy finish.

Pearson came on an had a man's game, getting stuck into the middle of everything and really putting himself about. Great to see McGeady getting a run out as a sub too and the boy certainly looked sharp.

So my first full season while living in Glasgow and I've eaten enough steak pies attending games to pay for a few weeks of Balde's wages so I've definitely played my part this year. Still got an old firm game in Celtic Park to look forword too and even if Strachan does revert to playing the youngsters for the remaining games there's enough talent available on the bench to make them enjoyable games to go to.

Soon congrats to the team, well done to the captain Neil Lennon and Strachan....who we buying in the summer :)

Hit of Happiness

2006-04-03T23:42:00.000+01:00

Paul's tips has a simple suggestion of five simple things that you can do to increase your current level of happiness. Nothing groundbreaking but a nice list of simple tasks to do that will make you feel a little bit better. Go forth and be happy.

Well Fed

2006-04-03T08:50:00.000+01:00

That was a weekend of good eating. Friday night we completely overdid the eating in the Red Lizard in the Merchant City. After a a gluttonous meal of Macoroni and Cheese, Chilli Chips and deep fried onion rings my eyes were rolling in my head and I nearly fell asleep into my dinner. Ben and Jerry's ice-cream on the way home completed the meal.

Saturday was on all day p1ss up for my fiancée's birthday starting in the Butterfly and the Pig on Bath street. Cracking pub and after a couple of hours we ordered a platter of grub that included pieces and slice and sausage rolls and chips. Pure magic by the way. Ended up in bunkered (further up Bath street I think) later on and then more eating in the Canton Express on Sauchihall street.

Sunday was a lazy TV day but the weekend was brought to a suitable conclusion with a nice birthday dinner in Sarti's on Renfield street. The waitress had a serious attitude problem but after mentioning it to one of the other members of staff, she must have got a stern talking to or a kick up the arse and changed her tune to something more appropriate.

An excellent weekend.

This made me laugh.

2006-03-31T11:14:00.000+01:00

My dog (Yes, he lives with my parents but so does my brother and I still refer to him as my brother)..anyway, my dog's name is Yoda coz he has cool Yoda-like ears and (obviously) wields a mean lightsabre. I'm definitely going to get him one of these outfits!

The road forward

2006-03-30T01:17:00.000+01:00

Not too long ago I found myself sleeping in too often, not getting to work as early as I'd like and the relentless pile up of bills, tasks and things I wanted to accomplish getting on top of me. This was not a good state to be in so it was time for a change. I've tried to cut out watching tv just for the sake of it and tend only to watch when there's something I REALLY want to watch like a football match or a specific movie. I've a stack of books on my bedside cabinet that I'm starting to work through instead. This stack includes my national geographic subscription which had begun to arrive every month like a big chunk of yellow guilt in brown paper pointing at me accusingly and highlighting my inactivity. This week has been about getting up early and taking the time to get ready for work, prepare my lunch and head to the office as close to 8 O'Clock as possible. This has really helped me get through my workload and I feel I'm accomplishing alot more and then feel more satisfied at the end of the day.

I've never been a heavy sleeper and I hate going to bed early. I tend to wait until I feel like I'm going to fall asleep and then take that as the indicator of it being time for bed rather than any pre-scheduled bedtime. By combining this with a set wakeup call of 7.00am I'm trying to instill a bit of self-discipline and develop a sleeping pattern that I can carry forward. While navigating through a couple of blogs tonight I coincidentally came acrossSteve Pavlina's How to be an Early Riser post which reinforces a lot of the ideas I'm trying to implement. If its caught your imagination there's also a part two. If, grasshopper, you master these disciplines then you are ready to ascend to the next level and read his self disicpline posts

One foot in the weekend already

2006-03-28T08:32:00.000+01:00

Very lapse on the blogfront of late so a quick recap to bring me up to speed......Celtic won the CIS Cup very comfortably (3-0) against a poor showing from Dunfermline.....Keane picked up a hamstring injury in that game and is out for a few weeks.......Beat Inverness 2-0 in Parkhead on the following wednesday......me and my fiancée went to that one and although it was a poor game we had a good evening out.....Liverpool beat Everton 3-1 in the derby game at anfield on Saturday even with Gerarrd being sent off after 17 mins.....Celtic beat Livingston 2-0 on Sunday to put them on course to win the league if they win their next game.......their next game is hearts at Parkhead and I've got a ticket!!.....I'm swamped in work at the moment and will be working my socks off this weekend.....

Speaking of socks I have a couple of those sad pairs of socks with the days of the week on them. Yesterday I noticed I was wearing a Monday sock and a Friday sock. Very curious, a subconcious plea for it to be the weekend again or just the side effects of getting dressed in the dark?

How To Do Things and Stuff

2006-03-22T00:58:00.000Z

Two of my favourite websites at the moment are MAKE and Instructables. Admittedly they're a bit geeky but have an explore and you can find out how to do and make just about everything from smoke bombs to water divining. Check out the Kong Cam. That was my contribution to the DIY community.

Things I saw on YouTube that are awesome

2006-03-19T01:22:00.000Z

A "do the robot" dance off

A ninja dude

Some Dynamite Dancing

Paddy's Day Links

2006-03-17T11:44:00.000Z

If I was back in Ireland today I'd have the day off and probably be face down in a pool of my own [insert bodily fluid of choice here]. Well I'm not and Scotland doesn't seem to keen on this day off in honour of a sainted Welshman so instead I'm going to post a few Oirish links and repeatedly listen to the national anthem on my mp3 player.

I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about 'em. Even though its pure americanised-oirish pap I've always liked Finians Rainbow. The Leprachaun who's growing taller is hilarious "DOOM AND GLOOM.....". Pub quiz fact - it's directed by Francis Ford Coppola.

Happy Paddy's Day

2006-03-17T00:06:00.000Z

Just realised it is now past midnight and therefore friday the 17th of March. Happy Paddy's day.....*HIC*

Neil Lennon in knifefight shocker....

2006-03-17T00:05:00.000Z

...allegedly! Actually he cut himself tidying up his house. He's still gonna play on Sunday though. Why? coz he's a trooper thats why!!!

How to win a Pride Fighting match....

2006-03-16T23:42:00.000Z

...hit the other guy with the floor. Hard. Preferably in the face. Following up on my other posts, I finally got round to watching more of the Pride FC DVDs. I'm on Disc 2, Critical Countdown 2004. The fights are way better on this disc. By way better of course I mean more people get hit in the face. Few notable mentions - big seven foot brazilian dude called De Silva or something who looks like a large tree and speaks like André the Giant (Remember Princes Bride, I love that movie..), also some japanese guy who came out wearing a pair of pyjamas and carrying a pillow. As fantastically over the top as WWF (or WWE or whatever) but with more real face kicking. Highlight has to be Quinton "Rampage" jackson's awesome slam. The fight was going the way a lot of them seem to go where there two fighters end up in a grapple type hold situation on the canvas and all the men in the audience get uncomfortable coz its looking a bit Brokenback Mountain. Rampage Jackson was having none of it though and decided to stand up with his opponent's legs still locked around his neck. He must have lifted the guy about 8 feet off the ground before slamming him into the ground head first. The commentators cheered, Rampage split his face open, his opponent passed out (few punches in the head first to make sure) and the crowd lost their friggin minds!!!

Jimmy Johnstone Links

2006-03-15T09:05:00.000Z

Farewell to Jinky

2006-03-13T09:48:00.000Z

Sad news today as Jimmy Johnstone, arguably Celtic's greatest player, died at the age of 61 after a prolonged battle with illness. One of the most exciting players ever to grace the turf, the Lord of the Wing will never be forgotten by hoops fans the world over.

Snowed Inn

2006-03-12T22:17:00.000Z

Was out in Gourock on Saturday night and when we left the pub in the early hours somone has coved the place in eight inches of snow!! No taxis so the night was spend trudging a bloody age to get home. There was a brief snowball at first but after a couple of hours everyone was just cold and tired. Couldn't make it back to where we were supposed to be staying so we bedded down for the night on a friends sofa. Had to wait a couple of hours for a taxi this morning to take us to where we'd parked the car. Had to dig the thing out and the it was a crawl up the motorway to get back home. Not the most successful weekend of recent times.

West of Scotland seems to have taken a right good hammering from the weather this weekend. Next few days doesn't look that great either.

Fight Club Part 2

2006-03-11T01:36:00.000Z

According to the commentators TOTAL ELIMINATION 2004 is a knockout tournament featuring "16 of the best atheletes in MMA in the world. The production values on this thing are amazing. There has to be at least 4 million peolple at the arena (ok not really 4 million but certainly a big number like : loads). The fighters are being introduced. I'm going for Murila "Ninja" Rua as my pick. Why? Coz his nickname is ninja, duh! The introductions are going on for ages. Hurry up and kick each other in the face!!

First fight takes 4 and half minutes. Some poor japanese guy just got his face smashed in by a big american dude with a blue mohawk. While mohawk man walks around the ring victorious, about 10 people run into the ring to try and glue the japanese guy's face back together. Mohawk man goes to the next round. Wouldn't American Idol be way more watchable if the contestants had to sing AND fight their way to the through each round.

An angry sounding fat japanese man in black rimmed glasses is doing the introductions for the next fight. Not being a fluent japanese speaker I can only assume he's saying "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE". Murila "Ninja" Rua sucks. Ninjas are meant to be lightfooted and nimble lethal fighting machines. Rua did his best impression of a sack of potatoes and got seven shades of shit punched out of him by some mad russian. Thank god I'm not betting on this.

Fight Club

2006-03-11T00:53:00.000Z

Got a lend of a DVD of a mate today. No, not one of THOSE kind of dvds but the Pride FC Fighting Championships, The World's Premiere Mixed Martial Arts Contest 2004 Heavyweight Grand Prix 6 Disc Set. I do like a bit of the Ultimate Fighting so my mate recommended this as good viewing. As the name suggests its a 6 Disc box set with the box and discs emblazoned with large blokes with angry facial expressions and who look like they enjoy hitting people. Preferably in face. From what I gather Mixed Martial Arts basically equates to kicking and punching lumps out of each other as hard and as often as possible. Mostly in the face. Right, Disc one seems like the best place to start. Its called Total Elimination 2004 and as it loads the backdrop contains clips of some mixed martial artists have a rare old time. The menu says SELECT A FIGHT. Had I been designing the menu I would change the text to START A FIGHT coz I think thats funnier but maybe you don't joke around people like this or they hit you. Probably in the face.

PLAY....

American Fitba

2006-03-10T02:02:00.000Z

Watching USA Vs. Poland on Channel Five with American commentators. Brilliant but odd. Never heard the phrases: "Whistle on the play" and "Change of the roster" used in football before. The commentator guy also keeps pronouncing Boruc's name Boruce.

Toe Upate: Played a bit of 5s on it today. It didn't fall off or change colour too much. result!

Rangers Lose to Villareal

2006-03-08T09:23:00.000Z

Don de Don Don

2006-03-06T13:20:00.001Z

Another home victory, another walk in the park for Roy Keane. Not only was the crazed corkman superb throughout, he also grabbed any bad performers (Telfer, McManus we're talking about you) by the scruff of the neck and dragged them up a level. Any doubters about Roy Keane being able to fit into the team (and I include myself on that one) should be silenced by now.

Champions League continues tomorrow and I'll be glued to the Villareal/Rangers game. hahah yeah right, with the Barcelona Chelsea grudge-tastic game on at the same time there is only one game I'll be watching. The media is really starting to get on Mourinho's back at the moment and I think their Russian tycoon could start to get a bit miffed if they fail to win the Champions league yet again. Sure, they're dominating the domestic league but the Champions League is the real top prize (and I'm not just saying that coz I'm a liverpool fan too). I can't be long before Mourinho becomes a target for Madrid too especially with his current level of popularity at the Nou Camp!!

Don de Don Don

2006-03-06T13:20:00.000Z

It's snowing.....

2006-03-03T11:19:00.000Z

And now in my best over-excited voice:

"IT'S SNOWING AND IT'S STICKING!!!!"
Link to webcam

Toe Job

2006-03-02T23:02:00.000Z

I'm not a happy camper. Ten minutes into my first game of 5s in over a week and I'm limping out of the game thanks to an ill-timed (read: shit) tackle by a fellow player. Playing 5s with people from work tends to put the brakes on smacking someone in retaliation for rubbish (and painful) tackles so I'm indulging in a bit of self-pity instead.

I have what we call in the medical profession (thats Dr. Hooped to you!!) Turf Toe but can also be described as a really sore toe that hurts to walk on and once the swelling goes down is going to look gross and bruised and probably a bit yellow. A bit of searching on the web and a call to my private healthcare's 24 hour helpline and the diagnosis and treatment was complete. Actually I wouldn't recommend searching the web too often for healthcare advice as its easy to get carried away and imagine yourself having the symptoms for all kinds of nastiness.

So looking for the silver lining (and belive me its taking a lot of self control to be upbeat about this) with the advice being to take it easy for a couple of weeks I guess that gives me a bit more time to catch up on my reading, DIY (nothing heavy, mind) and other such 'exciting' pastimes.

Elephant Shoes

2006-03-01T12:26:00.000Z

The Guardian Unlimited reports that Police are investigating claims by deaf football viewers who say that Liverpool full-back Steve Finnan made a racist comment to Manchester United player Patrice Evra in the recent league match where the 'pool lost 1-0. Myabe its my loyalty to an Irish and Liverpool player but I have to say I'm slightly skeptical about this for a couple of reasons:

1. Patrice Evra has made no complaint and does not back up the claims.
2. Liverpool FC went mental when this was suggested:
"The first either the club or the player knew about this matter was
through the media," a spokesman said. "There has been absolutely no contact from the Greater Manchester police. We have subsequently had a video of the match analysed by a lip-reader, who has told us there is nothing to support this
outrageous slur."
3. While I'm sure the deaf football viewers are expert lip-readers there must be a fair bit of room for discrepancies between what someone's lips appear to say and what they are actually saying.

To help validate point 3, here's a simple experiment. Say the phrase "Elephant Shoes" a couple of times to yourself out loud. If doing this in work, ignore the people looking at you like you're some kind of mentalist. Now find the nearest mirror and mouth the same phrase at different speeds and exaggerations of pronunciation. Looks like you're saying "I Love you" doesn't it? Again if in work, try mouthing the phrase to a colleague across the office. If he/she offers you a pair of Elephant Shoes then Finnan might just be guilty [allegedly - Hooped Lawyers]. If he/she offers you a punch/kiss/date then Finnan is probably innocent.

Gorbals goes boom

2006-03-01T09:58:00.000Z

Been a bit lapse with the blogging of late so time for a spurt (???) of furious blogging over the next couple of days. Jonny was a lucky witness as they blew up the old gorbals (they really do have information for everything in wikipedia) over the weekend. Apparently the last time they tried something like this someone was killed by a flying brick. Using some perverse logic, the council decided that this time they wouldn't tell people exactly when the demolition would occur so that large crowds wouldn't gather to watch and flying brick deaths would be limited!!!
Clip:

Link to Jonny's post

A visit to Londinium

2006-02-20T22:58:00.000Z

I gave football a break for this weekend and headed to London for a few days away with my fiancée. I've been to London before when I was a kid and over the last year I've been there a handful of times on business. I've never really explored the place properly though or done the whole tourist trail so we decided to give it a go this time round.

First up was a bit of retail therapy around covent garden. There was a cool David & Goliath shop in the Market Hall that we liked and picked up a couple of tops and t-shirts. The slogan on the t-shirt I bought is on the left.

Friday night brought a trip to the West End for the mandatory West Musical in London. We went to see Fame the Musical and it was honestly really good. Sure, the couple of bottles of wine we had beforehand helped get us in street dancing mood but it was honestly a good show. Bit thin on plot but that helped the show hammer along at an enjoyable pace without having to worry about any of those annoying character development sub-plots. My fiancée is a big fan of the original gritty life-on-the-streets-in-leg-warmers-and-matching-headband-movie but she still really enjoyed the stage show despite its watered down content.

Saturday was more retail therapy on Regent Street, Oxford Street and Picadilly Circus. We really enjoyed just exploring the city ourselves and getting used to using the tube to nip about the place. Saturday was also to be the day we went to Madam Tussauds but we got a fright when we turned up and the queue went right up the street. Luckily there was a guy called Leroy walking the line with a handheld ticket dispenser. It cost a quid extra each (bringing the price up to £25 each) but it meant we could skip the line and go straight in. Really enjoyed the waxworks. I always been a bit skeptical when I've seen any news items in the paper or on the telly where some celeb has got themselves a waxwork coz I reckoned they looked a bit rubbish. After visiting the place though I've have to admit to changing my tune. It was really impressive (despite some of the other visitors being absolutely manic!!) and the new Chamber Live was really succeeding in scaring the crap out of people. There was snot and tears in abundance.

Sunday was rained out so we decided to take in a bit of culture and visit the Tate Modern. I'm not an art enthusiast by any stretch of the imagination but it was fun to potter about and talk about the pictures we like, cynically slag of the ones we thought were rubbish and snigger like schoolkids at the more suggestive ones. It was nice to get to see a few Picasso and Andy Warhol pictures up close and that famously simple Piet Mondrian was there too. The narratives they have on the wall beside the pictures are a really good little insight into what each painting is about.

So I got this far without mentioning the football and that is really a credit to how good a weekend we had because not only did Liverpool knock Manchester United out of the FA Cup but Celtic romped home to an 8-1 win over Dunfermline with......I needed to sit down when I heard this.......Neil Lennon getting on the scoresheet. The week ahead looks good for footie fixtures with Arsenal vs. Madrid, Chelsea vs. Barcelona, Benfica vs. Liverpool and Rangers vs. Villareal all coming up on Tuesday & Wednesday. It must be a killer for Man U fans to be out of the running for winning anything for a second season :)

Quorn: The other white meat

2006-02-16T01:40:00.000Z

Thursday's sandwiches will mostly be made of quorn. Thank you.

As Healthy Eating 2006 (tm) continues, Quorn has been invited into our house. What is Quorn? Well I asked myself the same question when the strange yet familiar looking meat products greeted me in the fridge emblazoned with the Quorn logo. Well a bit of online research revealed Quorn is just the brand name for a load of meat substitutes based on a Mycroprotein ingredient. Mycroprotein is a low fat, low calorie fungus, next dor neighbour to the brother in law of the cousin of your commoner garden mushroom. I wonder if they are any relation to Magic Mushrooms?

Despite my reservations I gave a few of the products a try and they were actually pretty nice. The bolognese mince was a bit rubbish but the chicken burgers and the sausages were surprisingly tasty (I even cooked 'em on the George Foreman for extra healthyness).

So go on, try a Skewered Hot n Sweet Quorn Peppered Steak dish today. You never know you might like it OR at the very least you'll get off your face on Magic Mycroproteins.

Offside Rule for Chicks

2006-02-16T01:08:00.000Z

In honour of valentines day just passed I thought I'd blog something that my fiancée told me(steady!) . We were chatting away like a good couple should and she reckoned she knew what the offside rule was. Not one to disbelieve her, I told her I'm sure she did but I think she took that as a challenge and said she'd give me her definition and I could tell her whether she was right or wrong. Her (brilliant!!) definition is below so you can judge for yourself.

Imagine I was in a shop and there's a girl at the till ahead of me. Now I really
want to get to the till because there is the most beautiful pair of shoes that I have to buy. The girl in front doesn't have a purse so she can't buy them but she's waiting for her friend to arrive. I don't have my purse either so I can't go in front of her as I'm in no better a position to buy the shoes. So I call to my friend who is back browsing in the shop and tell her to pass me my purse. Once she throws it to me I can then skip ahead of the girl in front as I am now well within my shopping rights to go ahead and by those shoes.

It helps to remember the following
shop = football pitch
till = goal+goalkeeper
girl at till= last defender
buy a pair of shoes = score a goal
purse = football
friend who throws purse = teammate passing
My Fiancée = Amazing

Apparently there was an email sent around explaining the offside rule for women using the analogy above. hmmmm... the women folk are learning our secrets!!

Overall a good weekend

2006-02-13T09:35:00.000Z

Sometimes the weekend arrives and in all the anxiety to make full use of it nothing really happens. The weekend just passed was not one of those weekends. I think the secret is doing something on friday night. That way when Saturday rolls around you already feel fully immersed in the weekend.

This friday we had another poker night and I'd like to think everyone enjoyed themselves. We played single table tournaments where a £5 buy-in got you 2000 chips, blinds started at 25/50 and went up every 10 minutes. With only the 5 of us playing, the games were played out to a conclusion fairly rapidly and those knocked out early could relax and play a bit of XBOX while they were waiting.

I got myself nicely p1ssed which was great until I had to get up the next morning at 8 to catch a train to Kilmarnock for football. We lost 5-3 and to be honest I must have been still a bit drunk coz I only remember snatches of it. Still I set up 2 goals out of Sharkey's hat-trick so I was pleased with how I played. I'd also won 2 of the poker games on friday so I was up a nice bit of cash too.

Very please with the football results this weekend. Firstly Middlesborough trample all over Chelsea and then Liverpool win and pick up a few points on them too. Then Hearts lose to Aberdeen despite going ahead early in the game. Finally, the game we were all waiting for this weekend: The Bhoys beat Rangers in Ibrox. Zurawski took his only chance to win the game 1-0 and it was a solid if often subdued performance by the Celts. Roy Keane was immense and was definitly man of the match. I couldn't stop laughing after the game when the Setanta sports reporter was talking to Roy Keane and asked him if we was surprised to be picked for the starting line up.

Keane just looked at the guy like he was some kind of moron and answered 'No'.

A late night finger crossing session

2006-02-08T02:26:00.000Z

I'm heading to the game on wednesday night so here's hoping its good 'un. With all his recent chopping and changing, I haven't a clue what team Strachan is going to pick so considering my guess is as good as anyone's here's what I think the lineup is gonna be

Boruc

Wilson Big Mick Varga Wallace

Naka Lennon Keano Stan

Hartson Zurawski

I know he's far less effective when he's on the wing but, Petrov hasn't been very effective anywhere on the pitch the last few games and as controversial as it is to play him out wide I don't think Gordo has the cohonas to drop him completely. Zurawski is definitely on form at the moment so I think he'll get the nod ahead of Maloney and Hartson will start as the big man up front with the sell-jerseys-in-Ireland's-capital-marketing-ploy that is Dion Dublin action as his understudy. Its probably too much too hope for that Keano and Lennon play in the middle of the park together but I think it could really help to solidify a leaky defence with Naka and Stan doing the running going forward. Didier Agathe will be selling hot dogs and grumbling to himself.

On a seperate note, McGeady looks like a twat modelling the latest range in the superstore, although to his credit he doesn't look very happy about it.

FOAM FINGERS IN THE AIR!!!

2006-02-05T23:07:00.000Z

1 Litre of Banana Milkshake.

Check!

1 Can of Tennents Lager.

Check!

2 Tangerines.

Check!

1 Ham and Cheese sandwich on Multigrain Batch* bread.

Check!

Its Superbowl XL time and I'm ready for a bit of late night TV watching. I'm a big American Football fan and although I don't tend to watch it too often during I do like the superbowl. Yes, its massive amounts of over-the-top hype but its entertaining over-the-top-hype and thats the best kind. I watched Pittsburgh play a match at Croke Park in Dublin around 1997 so I think they'll be my pick for tonight.

*I like saying 'batch'. Its the way people from the North of Ireland say bitch and profanity in foreign accents is ALWAYS funny.

Bureaucracy and the Beast

2006-02-01T23:25:00.000Z

As part of my new year get super fit plan I've revived my 11 a-side football career and played 3 games in just over a week. Subsequently I fell asleep at 10 O'Clock for the first time in about 2 years last night. Another part of my get fit plan was to join a gym so me and jonny decided to join the Strathclyde University gym. Its only a £120 for the year from february so that seemed like a good price for a fairly well equipped facility. Little did I know that the discounted price takes into account the horrenduous University red-tape that you have to endure before they let you join. It went something along these lines:

We popped into the gym reception with our 2 printed out forms, 4 passport photos and £120 in cold hard currency. The VERY friendly (note: that's sarcasm) eldery tracksuited woman behind the counter informed us that we can't give her money but instead must go pay the University's cash office our £120 and then return brandishing our receipts. Not the most convenient methods of payment but if thems the rules then we decided to play along.

After 10 minutes of aimless wandering around Strathclyde's campus (and if anyone know's the college this involves walking up and down 45 degree hills) we asked a traffic warden if he could help us. This guy, seriously, nearly had a nose bleed trying to dig the requested info from his brain. No, I'm not messing, he closed his eyes and scrunched up his face and everything and then eventually came up with some directions. I was a bit scared to be honest but in all credit to him, his directions were spot on.

Our troubles didn't end their though. Try as we might to give the woman in the cash office our £120 she just wasn't having it. "You need to a number" she kept repeating. What number? From who? Why? The "From who" was apparently the accounts office but the nature of this number was never revealed. We strolled up to the adjoining accounts office, explained our need for a mystical number and low and behold they woman behind the counter was quite happy with this request and headed off to fetch us one! Whether this number was spewn forth from a positronic ticker tape machine or sent from the devil and transcibed onto a goat we'll never know but the woman did appear ten minutes later with ..........A NUMBER!!!

Armed with the number of power we were now able to easily give the University a combined £250. Our reward for handing over such fabulous wealth? A pink receipt the size of car door! This receipt was the gateway to gym freedom so we quickly ran to present it to the tracksuited troll at the gym reception.

You might have thought that was the end of the story but the woman was unable to process our applications at that time so we were sent away empty handed. I say empty handed but I do have a large pink receipt that is now doubling as a coffee table and has become a real fixture in the living room.

Oh yeah.....Celtic won 2-1 tonight...CIS Cup Final here we come!! (after Saturday's 3-3 draw tonights game was far from a foregone conclusion)